Favorite Pictures

              

Random Video Clips

You can’t really tell from this video, but we’re actually climbing a pretty steep hill. 

 

Crazy Drunk Johnny’s last stop on the tour.  These monkeys would steal anything that wasn’t tied down. 

 

Walking around Angkor Wat with the Dutch Girls to some crazy traditional Khmer music. 

 

These kids sat next to me on a bus for 5 hours and ate all my cashews. 

 

Look at Michael slapping that ass. 

AK-47 in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.  For $15 you could shoot a chicken.

The End

When Scott and I parted ways on January 31st our skin was brown, our hair was long, our beards scruffy, and our need for adventure had been temporarily satisfied.  The end wasn’t sad.  Scott was off to surf the waves of his life in Indo, and I was headed back to the good old USA.  I didn’t really occur to me until I was about halfway through my 30 hours of flight that I was still unemployed and homeless.  The reality started setting in and it wasn’t so bad.  My Boeing 777 out of never-neverland touched down in Washington, DC and all of the sudden I was surrounded by large, old, white people in suits with serious looks, fancy phones, and laptops.  America.  I sat down at a Fuddruckers at 9:45 AM and ordered the largest burger on the menu, mashed it, and considered another one.  They have McDonald’s everywhere in Bangkok, but that still doesn’t mean you can get a decent burger in that country.  It’s wet and cold, my cell phone works for a change.  Life was slipping back to normal way too fast like I had just been teleported.  I’m the only person in the airport in flip-flops with crazy hair.  People are looking at me funny.  They should, I look funny. 

In a week, my tan will be gone.  I will soon have to get a haircut for job interviews.  My left flip-flop is on the verge of blowing out.  Soon I will not look so funny walking through an airport, that makes me sad.  My parents are there waiting for me in the New Bern airport, they too comment on how I look like some islander, and are happy to see me.  But not as happy as Kramer, who also gave me a funny look, and then almost wagged her tail through the door. 

Another Night In B-kok

Did I mention before that Scott and I are ballers?  The past fews days we’ve been rolling VIP everywhere.  It started on the train when they were out of second class bunks so we chose the first class private room over the bench seats.  We still ended up slumming it in the dining car, hanging out with some Thai dudes that were getting hammered and didn’t speak any english.  Then we roll out to the Muy Thai last night and get front row seats.  Expensive, but when else do you have the opportunity to get blood splattered all over your shirt.  The fights were awesome.  Before the two guys fight, they come out and do this traditional muy thai dance.  It is really strange and kind of awkward to watch, because it’s half warm-up routine and half sexy-dance.  You’d laugh, but people would kick your ass.  There is this crazy, almost Indian music that a band is playing the whole time and picks up as the fight gets more intense, and there are stands packed full of old Thai dudes gambling, screaming, and counting out the knees and punches.  The whole stadium could have been from 1960, everything in the place was dirty and worn out.  We got there right after the two preliminary fights and watched the main 7 fights.  We were both dead tired and full when we got in there, but there’s nothing like people beating the crap out of each other to wake you up.  Punches and kicks with the occasional devastating knee or elbow.  It was crazy and one of the coolest experiences over here.  One guy got hauled off in a stretcher after a kick to the face, and a couple of the other fights got bloody, but my hopes of seeing someones face explode from a flying knee will be delayed until another time.  Everybody cleared out after the fifth fight, which was the main event, but we stuck around and watched the last two.  The last fight of the night was between these two little boys that were about twelve.  It’s kind of strange to see a stadium full of old Thai men gambling on little kids, but kind of awesome too.  These little kids could kick the shit out of most of the people I know.  How would you like to get your ass beat by a 90 lb. Thai boy?  Or better yet, a ladyboy?  Jon Conrad was telling us about this Muy Thai fighter a couple years ago that was a katoi, ladyboy.  He trained by himself at night, started fighting, and destroyed everyone he fought.  All the while, wearing make up, and blowing kisses to his/her opponents after mashing them.  It was supposedly very controversial, as Muy Thai is very traditional and in a way, sacred, and this guy was embarrassing the entire community, while winning.  He finally saved up all his winnings and got a full sex change, but then he couldn’t fight in Thailand anymore.  It sounds like they used it as an excuse to bar him from the men’s league.  They also wouldn’t let him fight in the women’s league because it was an unfair advantage, having previously had a penis.  So now she/he fights in Japan, and it’s not really fighting, it’s more of a novelty/pro-wrestling type of gig.  That is the kind of crazy stuff that only happens in Thailand.

After the Muy Thai fight we were both pretty spent, but rallied even though we’d been up since 5AM.  I took Scott to this Irish Pub to quench his hankering for a pint of Guinness.  They had this Thai band playing poppy, American cover songs, I never have my video camera on me for the most hilarious stuff.  Then we went to check out this bar I had read about in some magazines, and talked to some people about called Brick Bar.  Supposedly, a trendy hangout for young Thais hidden underground in the Khaosan area.  We found it and it was a pretty awesome place by any standard.  It was down a staircase under this hotel and barely had a sign.  Once you got in the Thai rock hit you in the face and there were people dancing their asses off everywhere.  We were the only white guys in there, people were high-fiving us, and dancing on the tables and waving their arms in the air.  The place was all brick inside with no windows, and had an air of an old speakeasy.  The energy in there was crazy, it was like everyone was swing dancing, but really badly and didn’t care.  We made our way over through the sea of people to the bar, which was almost as long as the bar at the brew station.  There was one bottle each of about twenty liquors and then about four hundred bottles of Johnny Walker.  I still haven’t figured out why Asians love Johnny Walker so much.  It was some of the best music we have heard on this trip, a cultural experience that we both could appreciate, and Scott was about a foot taller than everyone in there.  Brick Bar, Bangkok, check it out.

So today is our last, we have to go out celebrate the end, but Scott has to be at the airport at 6AM, so it won’t be too late of a night.  I’m lucky, I leave the next day around midnight.  I’m sure it will be a really tame night where we turn in early, since there’s nothing really fun to get into in Bangkok.

The Bangkok Blues

It always sucks to come back to Bangkok.  Mostly because your just stopping through to get transported to somewhere much cooler, literally and figuratively.  I also get this sweet poison ivy/bed bugs/heat rash thing every time I come back through here, which is awesome.  This time however it sucks the worst.  It’s my last stop before my 30 hour flight back to the States.  Not that I’m dreading coming home that much, well I guess I kinda am, but leaving never-never land to go back and start my all-growns-up job search does not sound like the best of times.  But my three month retirement party from bartending had to end at some point, and I guess I have to pay the tab since I wasn’t born a trust-fund baby. 

Of course I have three solid days to kill here in Southeast Asia’s city of angels and I’m still whining like a little girl.  Fitting since Scott and I are going to be skipping gayly around the city doing all of our last minute shopping for our parents and his girlfriend, and my imaginary girlfriend.  Seriously, we are going to hit Lumpini Stadium tonight and sit in the front row for some of the best Muy Thai Boxing in the world.  We’re also going to try and track down some good suishi before skipping town, and go to some trendy Thai bars to get away from the stinky, hippie backpackers and see the other side a bit.  Let’s just hope they take it easy on the techno.  Then Scott’s off to Indo, and I’m off to the bustling metropolis of New Bern, NC to take on my next big adventure, dog sitting.  After a few weeks of that I’ll be ready to start my new business venture, Outer Banks Elephant Treks. 

The Mighty Jungle

We rode an elephant today.  I don’t get to say that very often.  We’ve escaped the party island, spent a night in Surathani, and have arrived in the jungle, our natural habit.  We are staying in the Khao Sok National Forest in Southern Thailand.  It is hot, humid, and sticky. We’ve been wearing the same clothes for days, and haven’t shaved since…I don’t remember.  The monkeys and elephants don’t care, the women might if there were any here.  My plane home leaves in four days, this I am not excited about.  I’ve started having nightmares about real jobs, my cell phone ringing, and grocery stores for some reason.  If this is the last post, you can safely assume I’ve decided to remain in the jungle to live with the animals and hunt tigers, and if you come looking for me bring a straight jacket and tranquilizers. 

Scott and I have rented motorbikes again, he has turned into quite the burly, bearded biker on his 100cc Hello Kitty scooter.  We’ve opted to cruise around town and take in all the sites instead of the seven hour hikes through the park.  They couldn’t guarantee that we’d get attacked by tigers or trampled by elephants so we’ve been cruising and getting in some world-class naps. 

Scott had a birthday, it was awesome.  We got up at sunrise and did yoga and fasted all day, it was great.  The where no pirate ship bars, topless beaches, elephants, motorcycles, or beers involved.

Scott and Dean Chop Off Their Ears

We haven’t had internet in the last two places we’ve stayed, roughing it I guess. In Bangkok, we stayed with Chris at his apartment on the outskirts and saw the city from a locals point of view. The first night we went out with some of his buddies and saw more of the dark and dirty Bangkok nightlife. Hilarious highlights would be Scott riding the mechanical bull, the glass ceiling, and another urban elephant. The next day we went to get some food and headed to Culture One, Bangkok’s first international outdoor dance music festival. It was a pretty big shindig hosted by Bacardi that had four stages all with a rotating line-up of celebrity DJ’s from all over the world. Scott and I pretty much hate techno music, so we spent our time ogling the thai models working for Bacardi, getting foot massages, and chilling in the food court. It was a pretty cool event to go to, lots of beautiful people, and all the VJ’s from the Asian MTV stations, but after nine hours of electronic music, we were wishing we we deaf. The headliner was an American DJ named David Morales who we were looking forward to seeing on the main stage, but by the time he came on we were over it. He ended up crying on stage and telling the crowd he loved them like five times, and said at some point “this is the best night of my life.” We decided that he was super-gay and should be put down with most other Euro DJ’s.

As if we hadn’t had enough, we hopped on the overnight train headed south to get to Koh Phangan for the “Full Moon Party.” We went down to Haad Rin two nights in a row which was two nights too many. We were again spoiled with beatiful women from all over the world, but I can’t say it was worth the price our eardrums had to pay. About ten serious sound systems with different types of DJ’s lined the half-mile long beach. On the second night, the actual full moon, we didn’t even get to the party until 2AM. We figured we’d sneek in late and see the carnage and try to make it until sunrise. And carnage we saw. There was trash everywhere, people passed out all over the beach, a string of guys pissing into the ocean the whole length of the party. People were doing it in the sand, hippies shroomin’ up on the hill, sketchy thai dudes lurking in the shadows offering ecstasy, and pot being openly smoked like it was Amsterdam. Thai hookers came out of the woodwork, drunk guys were going home with ladyboys, and skinny dippers peppered the urine soaked ocean. I imagine five years ago, Scott and I would have gotten hammered and had a blast and spent the night chasing Aussie and Swedish girls, but it really wasn’t our scene. Maybe we’re getting old, who knows? So now that we’ve had our fill of terrible music, we are going to try and escape this island as quickly as possible.

We are going to head further south and off the beaten path and try and get back into the thick of the fun travel and away from the touristy super parties.  Of course, not without motorcycing all over this island first.  We saw bizaaro Travis yesterday, it was this guy that looked just like him except he was really tan and had longer sun-faded hair, much like Travis would have looked if he had come along with us for a month.  You missed out buddy, you really would have enjoyed all the music we hated.